How Memory Works: 10 Things Most People Get Wrong

“If we remembered everything we should on most occasions be as ill off as if we remembered nothing.” ~William James

It’s often said that a person is the sum of their memories. Your experience is what makes you who you are.

Despite this, memory is generally poorly understood, which is why many people say they have ‘bad memories’. That’s partly because the analogies we have to hand—like that of computer memory—are not helpful. Human memory is vastly more complicated and quirky than the memory residing in our laptops, tablets or phones.

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The Mushroom/LSD Experience Explained & Explored

(The image above has a really cool animation once it loads!)

Anyone that has tried a psychedelic drug know that it’s impossible to fully explain the experience to someone who hasn’t tried one. The entertainment industry completely misrepresents these experiences with dragons flying out of people’s faces and walls melting into nothing, which never occur even with strong doses. So, here is my best attempt at explaining the psychedelic experience.

I’d like to start this off with an anecdote from Ram Dass, who was talking about working with a member of the anti-drug coalition on a book about LSD. In choosing pictures for the book, they agreed on only one:

“It was a picture of a guy on the floor, looking at some spilled Coca-Cola. And he liked that because it showed the people under drugs became so trivial, and their minds became so caught in nothing. And I liked it because it showed this person was seeing that in everything there is everything. That in the spilled drop of Coca-Cola is the entire universe.”

The General Sensation

While tripping, you realize that Shakespeare’s idea that “All the world’s a stage” was excitingly true. Everyone else is still acting in this play, taking their characters very seriously. But you are backstage, watching it all play out with you mask off for once. Your beliefs, which you now realize are oh-so human and tied to your subjective sense of self, have come off with that mask. You are now able to look at the world through a truly differerent lens for the very first time. Without the filters of ‘sobriety’, the nature and innate truths of the world become clear.

Furthermore, your appreciation for absolutely everything is exponentially magnified. That filter in your brain that says “I’ve seen that flower a thousand times before, so it’s not that cool anymore” is turned off. Even the most insignificant objects are seen as though it is the first time you’ve ever encountered them. You are temporarily reborn with a child’s eyes for 4-6 hours.

The Visuals

For the most part, you do not see things that are not actually there. You see things that ARE physically there move around and warp into amazingly intricate patterns, but you will not see a colorful dragon-fly through your bedroom. All surfaces begin slowly undulating in tiny waves as if all matter has come alive. Not to the extent that you’ll think the world is melting or reality is breaking apart; just enough to let you know that ‘solid’ is more subjective than you thought.

However you will see some INSANE visuals when your eyes are closed (or in darkness, since the experience is the same), like a super-imagination that is much less under your control than usual. Imagine seeing an endless chain of vivid scenery seamlessly warping from one image to the next. The bizarreness of these images knows no bounds.

Perception

One of the coolest insights can come from the power of your perspective while tripping. The best example of this is when you look in the mirror. You will see your face morph back and forth between looking the most beautiful way you view yourself and the ugliest way you view yourself. If that’s hard to understand, think of someone with a horrible case of anorexia. Even when they are compared side-by-side to people they think are skinny, they still see themselves as fat. You can see this extreme, and the opposite extreme without any effort on your while you are tripping. But of course, you one see your own extremes… so you won’t see yourself look anorexic unless you are capable of thinking you look like that while sober.

This also holds true for any object you look at. You can look at a chair and consciously fluctuate between seeing it as a supremely evil, horrible, ugly chair, and seeing it as the most wondrous, angelic object you have ever seen. This is why having a ‘bad trip’ is possible because people can get stuck at the negative end of this spectrum if they have emotional issues or something traumatic happens during the trip.

In summation, the influence of your perception on reality is infinitely magnified on shrooms/lsd. While this is happening to you, you will see that this is also true while sober, but it occurs less immediately. Very cool stuff.

Rules for Tripping

1) Know your dealer & drugs. As with anything you ingest into your body, make sure you know what you’re buying. This includes amounts and strengths as not all mushrooms and tabs are created equal.

2) Trip where you feel extremely comfortable, especially with relation to temperature. You do NOT need to be outside to have a fantastic trip (my best trip ever was inside a small room), but nature is pretty sweet! You can clearly see the difference between dead and living ‘objects’ through the lens of mushrooms and LSD.

3) Trip only with people who you trust and enjoy completely while sober. Just one person can put a bad spin on your trip. This is a big event so don’t be afraid to be picky!

4) While tripping, be sure to spend time by yourself. The longer you spend alone, the deeper you can go into the trip, and the deeper insight you will receive. Focus is paramount while tripping. Insights and even intense visuals do not develop unless you focus your attention or vision on something for 5+ seconds.

5) Write down your epiphanies. Psychedelics experiences are like dreams in that they’re clear right after, but fade away quickly after. Try to write them down while you’re still tripping otherwise some of the understand will be lost, no matter what.

Maximizing Your Trip

- Drink orange juice beforehand. The vitamin C helps you to relax physically and mentally and the acidic nature of the juice helps the digestion of the substance.

- Change your surroundings every hour or so, even if you’re just moving to another room. It’s difficult to describe how awesomely different a new environment can feel while tripping.

- Wear the most comfortable clothing you own. Even if that outfit consists of footsie pajamas and one of your mothers crazy hats. Comfort is vital.

- Plan a fun activity to do while you’re waiting to come up. It’s much more fun to all of a sudden realize you’re tripping than to be constantly asking yourself ‘Am I up?’ for an hour and a half. Don’t worry, you won’t miss it :p

- Listen to music. You think music is amazing on weed? Oh just you wait :)

- Remember to spend some (if not most) of your trip alone. It’s important enough to be mentioned twice!

Other Things to Know

- These substances are perfectly safe. In fact they’re the safest drugs you can take behind marijuana. You cannot die or cause brain damage from LSD or mushrooms without eating hundreds of dollars worth of the stuff. It’s like alcohol — perfectly safe unless you’re extremely stupid about it. For that matter it’s far easier to cause harm to yourself with alcohol. Do your research online beforehand so you have more than my word to go off of! Erowid is a good place to start.

- You’re not alone in being intrigued by experience another type of perception. According to a site-wide poll in 2011, 47% of HEthens have tried mushrooms and 36% have tried LSD. Woot :)

- You will feel some discomfort and possibly nausea when you’re coming up on either magic mushrooms or LSD. Many people describe this feeling as ‘wanting to get out of your body’.  For me, the non-physical nature of the soul becomes very obvious during the trip, so this sensation makes sense. The unpleasantness will go away when you’re all the way up.

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Advanced Lucid Dreaming Techniques

This article is useful for the experienced dreamer who wishes to refine and deepen their lucid adventures. If you’ve never practiced being consciously aware within your dreams, check out the beginner lucid dreaming article.

To make the following techniques effective I suggest you maximize your dream recall ability. Two weeks worth of daily dream entries in your journal would be advantageous.

In-Dream Objectives

Gather ‘Chi’ Energy

You don’t have to be a Chi-Gong master to accomplish this! Visualise your key meridian points in the center of your palms and the center of your feet. Start to breathe slowly within the dreamscape, becoming aware of the inhalation and exhalation of our lungs. Now, imagine roots coming out of your feet and into the dreamscape’s ground, feel them deeply rooting themselves and feel the floor with your minds-eye. Now place your palms outwards and imagine sucking in positive energy into your hands. This greatly increases dream stability and makes the experience last a thousand times longer.

Breakdown the Dream Wall

When Lucid, preferably after grounding, state your date of birth and the place of where you were born. Say loudly, your home address and maybe recite what you did that day prior to sleeping. This breaks down the illusory wall that separates us when we’re dream-walking ‘Unconsciously’. By doing this regularly we strengthen the ability to become frequent lucid dreamers and will bring tremendous clarity between two worlds.

Advanced Dream Recall

When grounded in lucidity, boost your dream memory by stating out loud with eyes open the following: “I will remember all that there is to remember”. You may say it a few times till you feel the intention is firmly set in. Like all intentions, you must really put passion and belief behind these words. ‘Feel it’…

Meditate within the Dream World

I discovered this intuitively a few years back. It brings on surprising occurrences that connect us with spirit even more. The possibility to suddenly trans-locate from lucid dreaming to an out-of-body-experience is more than likely. Please experiment and see for yourself.

Call Out For Your Spirit Guide

Become Lucid and find a dream character and ask three times, “Are you my Spirit Guide?”Always ask three times so that you know they are genuine. The ‘dream law’ strangely seems to be that they must answer truthfully on the third answer. Once the bond has been established, maintain that connection with your guide and nurture the relationship. Work through deep problems and fast track your way to great wisdom. Just call out for them anytime; they will suddenly appear and be by your side! I’ve had great adventures with my guide for over three years; he’s helped me immensely on my spiritual path.

Increasing Your Chances of Lucidity

Before you lucid dream you can add a teaspoon of Turmeric and a pinch of Nutmeg to your last meal of the day. I tend to make a rice and vegetable dish with no meat whilst adding these two little gems! It really increases your vividness and dream recall. Give it a go, but go easy on the Nutmeg!

Don’t eat after 6pm. When journeying to the outer realms you want to ‘feel’ light. Your energy body needs to be flexible and movable. By being more disciplined with our diets we can achieve great focus and can become more lucid. The ‘Tibetan Dream Yogis’ do not eat after 6pm specifically for this reason.

Say ‘NO’ to caffeine! Did you know that just one cup of coffee can deduct one hour off our ‘REM’ dream period? By drinking coffee you will decrease your lucid dreamtime. However, you get a REM rebound if you take coffee regularly but it’s not naturally recommended.

Try Green Tea as a healthy alternative. Green Tea gives you a natural caffeine boost and won’t get in the way of your ‘REM’ period. In fact, studies now show ‘Green Tea’ to be a great Lucid Dream activator because of the two chemical compounds, L-glutamine and L-theanine.

EXTREME LUCID DREAMING!

5 HTP-100mg

Galantamine 4mg/Choline 200mg (blend)

GPC Choline- 300mg-900mg

• First you take the 5 HTP one hour before sleep. Try and aim to go to sleep no later than 10:30pm. Before sleeping meditate in bed and state your intention to become lucid. Dream incubation also can be done at this stage.
• Try and wake up naturally for 4 am. Use the toilet and try not to turn on any lights, as you still want to be in a ‘sleepy state’ of mind. Climb back into bed. Take the Galantamine with Choline blend along with the GPC Choline.
• Lie now on your back, and state again your intention briefly in your mind and drift. After 20 mins roll over to your right side (for guys) or left side (for girls). Now get comfy and drift to sleep. You can also try to maintain awareness to the end and achieve a WILD. I personally like to drift to sleep and be awoken naturally by the buzzing sensations.
• From here your adventures really begin! I will not share what ‘COULD’ happen as this may influence your journey and mindset.

Try the combination of diet and supplements along with ‘In-Dream objectives’ and share your experiences. We can learn so much from each other and uncover more truths regarding the wonderful world of Lucid Dreaming!

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500 years old Inca girl

Well initially this might look to you like any normal girl being treated by a doctor,the girl in the photo is not any normal living girl but the mummy of a 15 year old child who has been dead for about 500 years. 

She was found in 1999 near Llullaillaco's 6739 meter summit. An Argentine-Peruvian expedition found the perfectly preserved body and she was nicknamed "La doncella" which means “The maiden”. According to the Inca she was chosen to go and live with the gods. But in reality she was a sacrifice to the Inca Gods and had been brutally killed in the name of religion. 

Scientists say that her organs are intact and its as if she had died just a few weeks ago. From testing the samples of her hair they could determine the type of diet she was on before her death. This lead to the discovery that the Incan fattened their children before killing them. Months or even years before the sacrifice pilgrimage these children were given diets which were those of the elite, consisting of maize and animal proteins.

source

Judging from the condition of the body, it is believed that she was drugged and left to die in the mountains. It would not have taken much time for her to die due to the high exposure. The Incan high priests took their victims to high mountaintops for sacrifice. As the journey was extremely long and arduous, especially so for the younger victims, coca leaves were fed to them to aid them in their breathing so as to allow them to reach the burial site alive. Upon reaching the burial site, the children were given an intoxicating drink to minimize pain, fear, and resistance, then killed them either by strangulation, a blow to their head or by leaving them to lose consciousness in the extreme cold and die of exposure. 

Many Inca children were offered as sacrifice during or after important events, such as the death of the Sapa Inca(who was the emperor) or during a famine. These sacrifices were known as capacocha. 


Why Only Children? 

Children were selected for sacrifice because they were considered to be the purest of beings. They were chosen for their beauty and possibly nobility. According to Inca beliefs such children were to serve as guardians to their villages from the heights of the mountains joining their ancestors and honoured in death. The children wore shoes or slippers and dressed in colourful clothing elaborately decorated with medal, bone and cords. More than 100 precious ornaments were found to be buried with these children in the burial site. They were loosely wrapped in shawls and were seated cross legged as they would have fallen asleep after being drugged. 

Early colonial Spanish missionaries wrote about this practice but only recently have archaeologists such as Johan Reinhard begun to find the bodies of these victims on Andean mountaintops, naturally mummified due to the freezing temperatures and dry windy mountain air. 

There are also some more information about Inca mummies on wikipedia.

In 1995, the body of an almost entirely frozen young Inca girl, later named Mummy Juanita, was discovered on Mount Ampato. Two more ice-preserved mummies, one girl and one boy, were discovered nearby a short while later. All showed signs of death by a blow to the head. 

In 1999, near Llullaillaco's 6739 meter summit, an Argentine-Peruvian expedition found the perfectly preserved bodies of three Inca children, sacrificed approximately 500 years earlier, including a 15-year-old girl, nicknamed "La doncella" (The maiden), a seven-year-old boy, and a six-year-old girl, nicknamed "La niña del rayo" (The lightning girl). The latter's nickname reflects the fact that sometime in the 500 year period the mummy spent on the summit, it was struck by lightning, partially burning the preserved body and some of the ceremonial artifacts left with the mummies

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300 Million Year Old Machinery Found In Russia

Photo credit: en.wikipedia.org

The Voice of Russia and other Russian sources are reporting that a 300 million year old piece of aluminum machinery has been found in Vladivostok. Experts say a gear rail appears to be manufactured and not the result of natural forces.

According to Yulia Zamanskaya, when a resident of Vladivostok was lighting the fire during a cold winter evening, he found a rail-shaped metal detail which was pressed in one of the pieces of coal that the man used to heat his home. Mesmerized by his discovery, the responsible citizen decided to seek help from the scientists of Primorye region. After the metal object was studied by the leading experts the man was shocked to learn about the assumed age of his discovery. The metal detail was supposedly 300 million years old and yet the scientists suggest that it was not created by nature but was rather manufactured by someone. The question of who might have made an aluminum gear in the dawn of time remains unanswered.

The find was very much like a toothed metal rail, created artificially. It was like parts are often used in microscopes, various technical and electronic devices says writer Natalia Ostrowski at KP UA Daily.


Credit: joy4mind

Nowadays, finding a strange artifact in coal is a relatively frequent occurrence. The first discovery of this sort was made in 1851 when the workers in one of the Massachusetts mines extracted a zinc silver-incrusted vase from a block of unmined coal which dated all the way back to the Cambrian era which was approximately 500 million years ago. Sixty one years later, American scientists from Oklahoma discovered an iron pot which was pressed into a piece of coal aged 312 million years old. Then, in 1974, an aluminum assembly part of unknown origin was found in a sandstone quarry in Romania. Reminiscent of a hammer or a support leg of a spacecraft “Apollo”, the piece dated back to the Jurassic era and could not have been manufactured by a human. All of these discoveries not only puzzled the experts but also undermined the most fundamental doctrines of modern science.

The metal detail which was recently found by Vladivostok resident is yet another discovery which perplexed the scientists. The coal in which the metal object was pressed was delivered to Primorye from Chernogorodskiy mines of Khakasia region. Knowing that the coal deposits of this region date 300 million years back, Russian experts inferred that the metal detail found in these deposits must be an age-mate of the coal.

Photo by: Valery Brier.

Another question that interests Russian scientists is whether the aluminum alloy is of Earthly origin. It is known from the study of meteorites that there exists extra-terrestrial aluminum-26 which subsequently breaks down to magnesium-26. The presence of 2 percent of magnesium in the alloy might well point to the alien origin of the aluminum detail. It could also be evidence of some past, unknown civilization on Earth. Nonetheless, further testing is needed to confirm this hypothesis.

It is the first such finding in coal made in Russia, according to anomaly researcher and biologist Valery Brier, who took microscopic samples of the aluminum for testing.  Valery Brier performed X-ray diffraction analysis of the metal. It showed very pure aluminum with microimpurities of magnesium of only 2 - 4 percent.  Analysis was also conducted by Senior Fellow of the St. Petersburg Institute of Nuclear Physics Igor Okunev who confirmed the age of the material according to Natalia Ostrovsky

 The find is very much like a toothed metal rail, created artificially. It was like parts that are often used in microscopes, as well as various technical and electronic devices.

While exploring core samples (rock samples) that were raised from a 9-meter depth during the drilling of the seabed to support the bridge on a Russian island near Cape Nazimova,  strange metal alloys were discovered that were "preserved" in the prehistoric sandstone (age - 240 million years old). The  pieces of special alloys had an unusual composition and were clearly not used in the drilling machinery. The alloys, said Brier, were artificial and constructed by intelligent beings.

Reconstruction of the item found near Cape Nazimova


Credit:  Natalia Ostrovsky

Not so long ago in Russia a mechanical device was found in volcanic rock which was dated 400 million years before the current era (B.C.E)

It was found on the remote Kamchatka Peninsula, 150 miles from the village of Tigil, by archaeologists at the University of St. Petersburg among found strange fossils. The reliability of the finds has been certified. According to archaeologist Yuri Golubev the find amazed experts as it was some sort of a machine.

The most ancient vase on Earth was discovered in 1851 in Massachusetts when blasting in the quarry. It is a silver-zinc vase inlaid with fine silver in the form of the vine. The age of this vase, according to the the rock in which it was found, is 534 million years old


Photos: www.lah.ru

Another strange artefact that was found in coal is the iron pot shown below. It was found in 1912 in Oklahoma in a piece of coal with an estimated age of 312 million years.


Photos: www.lah.ru

In Romania in 1974, in sandstone quarry of not less than 1 million years old was found aluminum parts, reminiscent of a hammer or a support leg landing spacecraft "Viking" and "Apollo".

Photos: www.lah.ru

Originally posted on: TV KP RU 

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10 Weird Sea Creature- That look Horrible

In the course of our relentless examination of horrifying insects and vicious predators, we have to say that consistently all of them pale in comparison to the stuff that lives in the water. The ocean is the earth's last frontier, and just as we always suspected, it's full of sea monsters.

#10. The Fish That Looks Like the Predator

io9.com

Well, it has the Predator's mouth, anyway. In some ways, the sarcastic fringehead (yes, that's its actual name) is more horrifying, because before it opens its mouth, it just looks like a regular fish with old geezer jowls ...

The Featured Creature
If reincarnation is real, this is what Nixon's coming back as.

... before its entire face opens up into a gaping sprawl of predatory terror. Sarcastic fringeheads are incredibly territorial, by the way, and they use their enormous jaws to battle each other in a ritual that looks like two parachutes trying to make out:

And no, we don't know why they are called that. They don't look very sarcastic to us, but their name makes them seem less frightening and a lot more douchey.

Discovery

"No, dude, totally, eat all my fries, I didn't pay for them or anything."

#9. The Venus Flytrap of the Sea

io9.com

They look like something you'd find in a meteor impact crater, but really, predatory tunicates are a kind of sea squirt that live in deep-sea canyons off California. What sets them apart from their placid sea squirt cousins is that the predatory tunicate is like an underwater Venus flytrap -- it sits there, rooted in place, waiting for some unwitting prey to pass close to its gaping, incandescent mouth, and then snatches it up. With that kind of diet, they can't afford to be very picky.

All The Sea

"Zooplankton, again?"

In addition to looking like aliens from a SyFy movie about creatures that bite the dicks off passing swimmers, the tunicates can have sex with themselves if they can't find another to mate with. Which is helpful since, you know, they're stuck to the ground. What else are you going to do to fight the boredom?

#8. The Fish That Kills from Below

mabusincarnate.com

That monstrosity is called a northern stargazer. OK, whose goddamned idea was it to call it that? The word "stargazer" brings to mind some wispy fish with bright hippie colors and big cartoon eyes; this looks like the mud has spontaneously grown a face. Well, you know who else gazes up at the stars? The devil, from his throne in hell, apparently.

The northern stargazer is actually a kind of fish, if you can believe that. Most of it exists under the mud, so you can normally only see the horrible bits.

Wikipedia

"Go ahead, Scooter, get a real close look. I dare you."

The northern stargazer has its eyes and mouth on top of its head due to its feeding strategy -- when it feels like a snack, it buries itself in the dirt in as little as four seconds flat, becoming nothing but a grimacing skull-face in the mud. When something tasty swims by overhead, the last thing it ever sees is something out of Jim Henson's nightmares.

The Featured Creature

"For the last time, I am not the Pumpkin King!"

Wait, did we say that last thing looked like a monster from a SyFy movie about a creature that bites the dicks off passing swimmers? Because we clearly spoke too soon. Look at the expression on that thing's face! It wants to eat your junk!

As if that wasn't bad enough, they apparently have organs above their eyes that can emit electrical shocks. Thanks, Nature!

Wikipedia

"Don't mention it. Wait until you see the rape-sharks I'm cooking up."

#7. The Shark That Looks Like a Throw Rug

National Geographic

OK, what are we looking at here? Is that a plant? Whatever it is, it's coming unraveled around the edges.

That is the carpet shark, which also goes by the ridiculous name of tasseled wobbegong. It obviously gets its name from the fact that it looks like a throw rug, except that it's a throw rug full of jagged teeth that will eat the shit out of you. It's like a welcome mat for the ocean that also hates you. Here's one that's in the process of swallowing another shark whole, face-first:

National Geographic

It's basically a giant, mossy, amphibious condom.

When photographers came across this shark-on-shark action, at first they figured that there was only one shark on the scene, and that its head was somehow obscured from view. And it wasn't moving, so maybe it was asleep or something. Luckily, the reality is less frightening than their next thought, which was that the seabed had become sentient and rose up to swallow a shark whole.

io9.com

"The shark eats you, I eat the shark, nothing in the goddamn ocean touches me. Circle of life."

#6. The 56-Foot-Long Fish

Wikipedia

The giant oarfish, or "King of Herrings," as it's referred to by the lower-class herrings, is the world's longest bony fish. How long is it? Above is one being carried by a contingent of Navy SEALs, who probably had to do battle with it at some point. It's extremely rare, and most of the specimens found have been dead. But dead is exactly the way we like a monster that looks like it could deep-throat an oak tree.

At up to 56 feet long, scientists speculate that the giant oarfish may have been the source of the sea serpent legend -- hey, we told you sea monsters were real. And speaking of which ...

#5. The Real Kraken

National Geographic

OK, we know there's something called the giant squid out there, but it's hardly the kind of beast that could drag your ship down to Davy Jones' Locker as described by old-timey sea legends. We used to assume that such a thing never existed -- until 2007, when fishermen dragged aboard something that we're now calling the colossal squid.

tepapa.gov.nz

"Hyper squid" just sounded too much like a rejected Metal Gear character.

Scientists don't use the term "colossal" lightly. At over 900 pounds, with tentacles stretching 13 feet, it's by far the largest squid ever caught. Its eyes are described as being "as wide as dinner plates," and if you tried to make calamari out of it, the rings would be as big as tractor tires and flavored with the screams of hundreds of old-timey fishermen.

The folks who caught it had no choice but to freeze it on board their vessel, we assume after a spectacular battle like the Kraken fight scene from one of those Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Since then, it's been on display in a museum in New Zealand, because apparently the best way to exact revenge upon a mighty beast from the days of yore is to simply humiliate it.

tepapa.gov.nz

"As you can see, we've glued a hat onto it."

#4. The World's Biggest Fish

Richard Hermann

The reaction to this kind of photo is always the same: "So what? The diver is probably like 100 feet away, and the fish is about to lick the camera lens. So how big is that fish really?"

Well, the mola mola, or ocean sunfish, is the heaviest fish in the world. For some sense of scale, here's a picture of it dwarfing a dwarf.

Wikipedia

That little girl has a lot of faith in some sailor's ability to drunkenly tie knots.

The freakishly huge sunfish gets its name from the fact that it spends its time "sunbathing" at the surface of the water, in part to invite birds to fly down and gorge themselves on the skin parasites that infest it.

Wikipedia

"Come, my friends, and let my atrocious personal hygiene be your feast!"

They are apparently harmless to humans, which is a good thing, because as you can see, your whole torso would fit into its mouth.

#3. The Fish That Walks

National Geographic

Ever wondered what it would be like to give a fish a high-five? Now you can find out! This is one of nine new specimens of handfish that were recently discovered near Tasmania, Australia. Not only do they have four "limbs" where their fins should be, but they use them to walk around down there. And look how friendly the little guy is! There's no way that little face is about to tell us to fuck off!

Seriously, though, the best way to understand how creepy that is is to see it in action:

Looking at them, we're pretty sure evolution is only about three generations away from granting these guys the ability to flip us the bird.

National Geographic
Also, they almost look wrong without a cigarette hanging from their mouths.

#2. The Fish That Looks Like a Xenomorph

National Geographic

Nobody made the mistake they made with the northern stargazer of giving this undersea horror a harmless, goofy name. That there is the black dragonfish. Of course it is.

The black dragonfish lives deep in the ocean where light can't reach it, but it has a strategy for seeking out its unlucky prey -- its body emits a kind of infrared light that only it can see, meaning that it's basically wearing a little pair of night vision goggles while everything else is swimming around blind.

niwa.co.nz
It's like if H.R. Giger designed a Maglite.

By the way, every image you see of one of these things is female. The male of the species doesn't have such impressive teeth, and in fact, he doesn't even have a working stomach. It's theorized that the males are used for breeding purposes only, which means they are born with no other destiny but to have sex with a 15-inch death eel.

lifesci.ucsb.edu
Which, now that we think about it, is almost certainly some dude's fetish.

#1. The Clam That Looks Like a Dick

geoduckrecipes.com

First of all, kudos to the guy in that picture for handling that thing without gloves.

This thing is called a geoduck, pronounced "gooey-duck" because that makes no sense. It's a kind of clam whose body is too big for its shell, and on top of being the most phallic thing in the ocean, it lives for an incredibly long time (up to 140 or so years) and can grow to be disturbingly big.

ecy.wa.gov
We can't vouch for the authenticity of this old-timey photograph, but we will note that it's from an era long before Photoshop.

Oh, and did we mention that this thing is considered a delicacy? At least that's what we have to assume people are doing with them.

Top Tenz
Every man has had at least one discouraging moment like this.

Because it's a pricey delicacy, farming them makes for quite a lucrative business. And if you haven't eaten in the last 48 hours, you can safely watch Mike Rowe wade around in a sea of floating dicks on Dirty Jobs. If you're a male, have fun trying to cut into one of these things on your plate without involuntarily cringing.

Originally posted on: Cracked

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