5 Step to get your Destiny

Destiny is the path that leads you to the most terrifying thing in your life that most excites you. It’s a journey that requires you to grow to do what you are most passionate about—to do the thing you were born to do. If you think of your life as a video game character, the destiny is the golden path that the video game programmer created to give you the most fulfilling game-playing experience. And to be fulfilling, it must challenge you to become the biggest version of yourself so you can get to the highest level. That means you must
face and conquer your demons and follow your instincts even if they are diametrically opposed to everything the people in your life think that you should be doing. It requires being able to quiet down the screaming voice of society so that you can hear the whispers of your soul.

If you already know what you should be doing with your life, that’s all the advice you really need. But what if you don’t? What if you have no clue what you should be doing, aren’t completely sure, or are second-guessing what you thought was your destiny? Then this article is for you. I will show you the five simple steps to uncover the path that will bring you the most fulfillment.

You’ll know you’ve found it because it will immediately resonate. You will feel light, blissful, and suddenly empowered, which may quickly be followed by doubt, fear, and a sinking feeling in your stomach. This is just your mind trying to hold you back. It doesn’t want you to change. It wants you to be safe. But safe is boring. I can guarantee that if you’ve been playing it safe up until now, you’re probably pretty unfulfilled at best, and really miserable at worst.

On some level, we all already know what our own destiny is. It’s just that sometimes we let fear and the opinions of others cause us to stray so far from our path, we no longer recognize it. I promise you that no matter how far you may have strayed, there is always a way back. In fact, sometimes one tiny, simple decision, event, or encounter can get you right back there. Your life can change on a dime. Know this to be true. Once you believe, you are ready to re-member your path.

Step 1: Your Name

What’s in a name? Everything. Your name is like your brand, especially these days with the omnipresence of social media. If you don’t know the significance of your name, then you don’t know what you stand for. If you hate your name, change it, choose a nickname, or see if there’s a deeper meaning to it that resonates. Do a search on the various meanings of your name—including your middle and last name and any other names you are known by (religious name, family name, Native American name, etc). Focus on the parts that work for you and forget the rest.

Seeing how I broke down the meaning of my name should help you uncover the deeper meaning of your own. My full name is Marc Andrew Oromaner. Marc comes from Mars and means “warlike” or “warrior.” Interestingly, my middle name, Andrew, also means “warrior,” as well as “man.” When pronounced correctly (a rare occurrence), my last name sounds like aura-manner. The manner of an aura is like one’s soul. “Orah” also means “light” in Hebrew and “meyer” means “brightness” or “shines,” so “orah-mayer” is a brightly shining light. In Spanish, “oro” is gold and “manera” means “way.”

So it seems that my full name means either “warrior of the bright light” or “warrior of the golden way.” I interpret this as a choice—an inner battle—to make my life about following material riches or spiritual enrichment. This dual choice also relates to my zodiac sign, which segues nicely into the next step.

Step 2: Your Birthday

Don’t believe in astrology? No matter, it believes in you. I do believe there is a science to astrology, but that’s a topic for another time. For now, let’s just say that the giant planetary masses of energy that encircle our world act kind of like filters that enable certain electromagnetic energies to get through. Those energies that are in alignment at the time we’re born have more influence on us while those that aren’t have less. In this way, everyone is born with different combinations of personalities and challenges depending on where the planets, sun, and moon are when they entered the world. It’s all very calculated and precise, enabling a full range of personalities and qualities to be experienced among different beings, all based on a cyclical, automatic process. Once again, use my personal example as a template for interpreting your birth date.

Born June 16, I’m a Gemini. We’re air signs so we tend to live in the mind and lean towards spiritual interests, yet, we’re also superficial and flighty—hence the contradiction that ties into my twin paths, which focus on the material or the spiritual.

June 16 is also about five days short of the summer solstice—the day when the light (spiritual) completely dominates over darkness (material). Five days short? Almost seems as though I’m meant to initiate some kind of spiritual movement but won’t be able to take it to completion during my lifetime. Perhaps my twin daughters Aliyah and Brienna (both names meaning “rise” or “ascend” in different languages) will carry on my work as they were born March 21—the first day of spring when the light first begins to overtake the darkness. And yes, also interesting to note that as a Gemini I fathered twins.

For the Maya, the birthday was the only step needed to uncover one’s destiny. One of the Mayan calendars known as the Calendar Round combines their circular 260-day Tzolkin calendar with their circular 365-day Haab calendar together as two interlocking gears. Each day (one of the gears) represented a different energy to the Maya. Since the two calendars each had a different number of gears, they would interlock at varying points over time.

The combination of the two gears that connected on the day you were born represented your destiny. So for me, those two gears might have been “spirituality” and “stories” (or “media” in modern terms) since I have a passion for interpreting the hidden spiritual wisdom found in movies and TV shows. For you it might be “teaching” and “music” or “animals” and “medicine” or “eating” and “napping” or whatever it is you have a passion for.

Step 3: Your Parents

Whoever was most influential in raising you whether it be your birth parents, adoptive parents, grandparents, or close family friend (i.e., Robert Kiyosaki’s experience as explained in Rich Dad, Poor Dad) is of utmost importance when it comes to figuring out your destiny. There are no accidents. If you’re meant to be a famous trapeze artist, chances are you won’t be born to an accountant and a stockbroker—unless those careers would turn you off so much that you run off and join the circus.

On the other hand, if your mother is an art teacher and your father a doctor, maybe you’re meant to be an art therapist. Your father is very religious and your mother is a scientist? Perhaps you’re meant to bridge the two philosophies. Your birth parents are hippies and your adoptive parents are bankers and your adoptive dad got divorced and remarried to an attorney and your adoptive mom now has a lesbian relationship with a waitress and your stepbrother is a children’s party clown? I’ll let you figure that one out, but you get the point.

My dad grew up with a lot of money while my mom did not. And yet, based on the stories I heard from my parents growing up, it seemed like my mom had a happier childhood despite incredible challenges. From that lesson I’d decided that money and material possessions did not bring happiness. Since then I’ve come to believe that money has no intrinsic value. It’s a tool that when used correctly can be used to help one reach one’s dreams, and vice-versa. I’ve found that the trick is to not value yourself based on what you have, but rather, what you are. Then your self-worth will not be contingent upon money.

Sometimes, those that raised us are meant to give us positive examples of how to behave, while other times they are meant to teach us what not to do and to learn to forgive. But either way, their influence is obvious. And whether overwhelmingly positive or negative, upon reaching adulthood, we must detach ourselves from the sphere of their influence in order to find our own way.  This is a major part of the hero’s journey and shows up in some form in most mythological stories, including Abraham’s story in the Bible.

For me, I feel I was meant to break away from the material aspects of my dad’s financial consulting job while embracing his path as a business owner. I believe I was also meant to have my mother’s social butterfly, real estate agent skills rub off on me while letting go of her desires for me to have a “normal” life (i.e., steady job with benefits and a typical family experience similar to how I’d grown up). Looking at your own parents’ dreams and fears, their occupations, values, friends, and personalities can provide an important clue as to how they were meant to guide you on your journey.

Step 4: Your Surroundings

As I wrote in “Turns Out Life IS Fair,” if you aren’t sure what’s important to you in your life, look around you. Everything you’re surrounded by is what’s important to you. And by important I mean what you give energy to. For me, I value love, friendship, fun, creativity, spirituality and time. Unfortunately, the latter doesn’t jive well with full time jobs, so I don’t get a lot of those. Riches aren’t necessary to have any of those values so I haven’t experienced a lot of that either. But I also tend to avoid a lot of drama, mean people, jealousy, hatred, violence, and all that negative stuff…because I don’t focus on it. I rarely watch the news or dramatic reality shows, I don’t have a need to show off material possessions or brag about my accomplishments, and I tend to feel that the less you need to be happy, the more likely you are to be happy. I also have a lot of clutter in my life, because my brain is kind of cluttered. I’m working on that. But looking at my life, yes, it’s pretty much filled with what I give energy too.

What’s in your life? Wondering why you never have relationships that last? Perhaps it’s because you highly value your independence. Feel like certain people and situations always come your way? How might they connect to something you’ve wanted to do? Have you still held on to old sports trophies, artwork, dance outfits, theater awards, academic achievements, newspaper clippings, or anything that brings back fond memories of days gone by? Is there a way to parlay those old hobbies or skills into what you’re doing now—or could do? As a pseudo-hoarder, I hold onto everything. Then again, I write a blog called “The Layman’s Answers To Everything” so it seems to relate.

Step 5: Examine Your Life In Reverse

Once you have a meaning for your name and birth date, can identify the influence of those who raised you, and can make out a common theme running through your surroundings, you now have the answer to your destiny. What you’re missing though, is the question.

Imagine that you are a god, or better yet, your own soul creating a destiny for yourself before you were born. Envision yourself choosing the name, birth date, parents, and passions that you have, or, envision some random being who has the same. Now, just ask yourself, what might be the intended goal for someone who’s had these various skills, interests, and aspects of their life picked out for them? In other words, what kind of destiny would you have in mind for someone who has all these elements in their life? You have all the pieces, but what does the finished puzzle look like? You need to work backwards. Assuming you’re the one who chose the path for your life, you ought to know.

I believe that you created or at least co-created your life. So nobody can figure out your own destiny better than you. You chose all the players and situations—why did you do that? What were you trying to nudge yourself towards? What fears and obstacles has your life helped you overcome and which have held you back? What could overcoming these fears lead to? Answer these questions and you have your destiny. And once you know it, and focus on it, the universe will conspire in your favor to make it happen. Clues, people, and events will begin to pop up, or you’ll recognize the significance of those that already exist in your life. A pattern will emerge, forming a picture of your path.

It’s a path with all kinds of twists and turns that will introduce you to interesting characters, wise mentors, and evil villains while taking you through dark forests, over challenging terrain, and ultimately, to greener pastures. It’s a lot like The Wizard of Oz with the yellow brick road guiding you towards the Emerald City. There, you eventually learn to see past the illusionary curtain, discovering that everything you’ve ever needed for happiness has been within you all along. The story of our lives is embedded in the film, and that’s why it has resonated with so many people from so many generations.

To make your destiny become a reality, give as much energy as you can to the end result and allow the universe to take care of the details. It probably won’t happen the way you’d expect, so making space for the unknown or initially uncomfortable is important. And when you come to a fork in the road, choose the more challenging path. It’s almost always the correct route. Because the more challenging the journey, the more fulfilled we are when we reach our goal. And yet, the goal itself isn’t the point. The growth we experience getting there is.

May your inner spark grow to light your way,
The Layman

About the Author

Marc Oromaner is the author of The Myth of Lost, which deciphers the hidden wisdom of the hit TV show and explains how we can use this wisdom to overcome challenges and uncover our destiny. His website, The Layman’s Answers To Everything, points out the patterns that run through all great stories including our own. These patterns are clues that are meant to guide us towards a life full of love, light, and fulfillment.